A Stay at Home Comedian on Coronavirus

Let’s begin with the cliché of the pandemic: “These are crazy times.” But don’t worry, you’ll be fine as long as you stay home, wash your hands, don’t touch your face. Wear gloves, use sleeves, disinfect everything, stay six feet apart. Stay safe. Stay calm. Stay positive, this will all be over in 2–18 months.

My days are busy. I self-quarantine, self soothe, and self stimulate. I have dinner…