How to Put Your Koala Bear Up for Adoption
He snarls at children, influencers, and anyone who starts a chat with “hey”
Back in 2014 a Craigslist ad about someone selling a Koala Bear named Gumnut went viral.
I responded to that ad. This is what that looked like.
Dear owner:
This is so weird but I also have a koala bear that I’m looking to rehome. Maybe you want him? His name is Gumbutt. I named him that because when I rescued him I thought he had gum on his butt, but it turned out to just be Silly Putty.
I too was in the dark about what to ask for a used koala bear, and when I googled “used koala bears” the only thing that came up was your ridiculous fucking ad, so here we are. Anyway, I rescued Gumbutt from the paint section at Home Depot on Third Avenue in New York City. He is my first and last Koala Bear. He’s 47 years old and a notary. He also validates parking tickets at an upscale mall every other Thursday. He has a decent disposition, however he snarls at children, influencers, and anyone who…