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I’ll Take Faking Foreign Accents for $100, Alec

Pam Gaslow
3 min readJan 8, 2021

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Photo: IG

Hillary Thomas Baldwin is a white, non-Hispanic from Boston who doesn’t know how to say cucumber, even though she pronounces it perfectly and with no accent.

Hilaria Thomas Baldwin is another person, way more interesting, cultured, worldly, and let’s be honest — annoying as hell. Through extensive social media research of the past six minutes I’ve put together a brief psychological profile on her and the results are insecure wannabe with Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS). “Some people affect a foreign accent consciously in order to gain attention or take on a new and more glamorous identity.” In other words, she is — how do you say in English — a con artist?

Hola!

One of the great things in life is that it’s SO easy to lie. One of the not so great things is getting caught. I mean it’s one thing to randomly adopt a fake accent based on a language that’s not your native tongue, it’s another thing to say you’re actually from a country that you’re not. Especially when you’re famous and there’s something called the Internet. I mean that’s like me telling you that I’m from Long Island, NY, which isn’t so interesting, BUT as a child, I went to Disneyland once for a half-hour and fell in love with Minnie Mouse. I spent a lot of time talking to Minnie, (who by the way doesn’t talk back) and as a result, I now look, act, and…

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Pam Gaslow
Pam Gaslow

Written by Pam Gaslow

Comedian and top writer in humor. Miami based. IG: @pamgaslow, pam@pamgaslow.com. Subscribe to my mailing list: https://upscri.be/fpacdo

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