This is interesting and I also just wrote a humor piece about turning 50. I agree with much of what you wrote. At 47 I went to rehab. I was terrified to turn 50 and it was on my mind every day. I thought if I numbed my mind I would not think about. I got sober and turned 50 this past January. I don't want to jinx it but I'm way happier now than then.

https://medium.com/slackjaw/im-50-and-it-s-not-funny-722f0be16e9f