Narrowed down from 100 Friends With No Benefits I’m Done Googling How to Squirt You Lost Me at “Hey” The Aggressive Woman’s Guide to Crushing on Psychotic Israeli Men If You’re Looking for Me I’m Dead Now and Other Good Signs to Put in an Empty Fish Bowl Does He…

A Somewhat Comedic Memoir I moved to Miami Beach in 2015. I hadn’t had a drink in almost twenty years, and it had been eight years since I smoked pot. I moved to Miami not knowing anyone and not having a job. …

And other reasons I don’t like her — Alexa and I have nothing in common. She’s long-winded, too proper, and too politically correct. She’s like the school teacher I could never relate to and the therapist I never wanted. I can’t believe we share a bedroom. Alexa isn’t so great. She’s a compact plastic encyclopedia who tells time…

But there’s always next time — “Mexico City?” my best friend asked when I told her my weekend plans. “Why?” I can’t count how many people have told me not to go everywhere I’ve been. India — WHY? Morocco — WHAT FOR? San Jose, Johannesburg, Rio . . . What’s wrong with you?? …

He snarls at children, influencers, and anyone who starts a chat with “hey” — Back in 2014 a Craigslist ad about someone selling a Koala Bear named Gumnut went viral. A Man Selling His Koala Makes the Best Craigslist Post Ever If you've enjoyed this Craigslist post of a man trying to sell his Koala, you might like our other funny Craigslist…cheezburger.com I responded to that ad. This is what that looked like.

Good thing my eyes were closed — A year and a half ago I went to Argentina for a good time. While driving through the Andes mountains I met a specific llama who wasn’t very polite. I was following him around his village talking nonsense to him and I guess he wasn’t amused because all of a…

I’m sure there are at least two or three (hundred thousand) hot Israelis who can’t wait to meet me and my impure motives — Once upon a time I went to Israel and met an insanely hot former IDF sex god. Besides the fact that he was unavailable, lived across the world, and smoked 400 cigarettes a day, he was perfect for me. My obsession quickly went off the psycho meter and now it’s…

Summer is seven months long and snakes come out of the toilet bowl — I moved to Miami Beach from New York in 2015. I moved not knowing anyone and not having a job. No one there seemed to work, or work too hard, so I fit right in. If you’re considering moving to south Florida you should first ask yourself the following questions…